• Ray Christian

The Psychedelic Diaries Volume 1: what you learn when you journey inward

Updated: Mar 31

One mark of a great mind is a willingness to change it

—Walter Isaacson

This series of posts will describe the experience and learnings from 5 years of monthly macrodosing (i.e. full-dose, intentional psychedelic sessions). Microdosing (smaller, sub-perceptual doses) is getting major attention thanks to its many benefits. This series will focus on the larger doses that oftentimes induce mystical or transcendent states of consciousness.

Like most great stories, this one starts with a girl.

Her name was Melanie and I had a crush at first sight. She had charm, beauty, and a disarming personality.

Unfortunately, she had a debonair boyfriend that was smart and successful.

We met at a posh Sunset Blvd lounge at my sister's birthday party in Los Angeles. After 2 minutes of small talk, he inexplicably reaches in his pocket, pulls out a handful of mushrooms, and hands them to me.

I was incredulous and intrigued.

It turned out that Melanie was also engaging in psychedelic sessions. So, in a misguided attempt to keep up with the joneses, I began searching for mushrooms.


It all changed with my first intentional psychedelic therapy session.

I had done recreational psilocybin a few times as a young adult but never in an intentional setting.

After a dozen dormant years, I dove back into the psychedelic world with a couple friends.

It was ostensibly another recreational session, like the previous experiences. However, out of sheer luck, I ended up breaking away from the group and spending time alone.

Instead of enjoying the laughs, visuals & absurd novelty, for the first time in my life a psychedelic compound took me inward.

The experience changed everything.


Something profound happened and I wanted more.

I began experimenting on myself like Sasha Shulgin with full-dose intentional sessions every month. Many were alone, many with others, many guiding others.

A strange and audacious gesture from Melanie's boyfriend led to a major demarcation point in my life.

My career took off, health improved, relationships & love life blossomed.

The coming Psychedelic Diaries will detail my learnings and memories of these ineffable experiences.

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