The Psychedelic Diaries Vol 4: Seven realizations from macrodosing
Updated: Apr 25
There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.
- Louis L’Amour
Macrodosing often brings profound insights.
Some insights strike you during the trip.
Some in the hours after returning from the trip.
Some after taking the medicine but, strangely, before the actual trip starts.
They can be ideas as grand as illuminations about the nature of your existence... or as simple as a new strategy to take at the office.
Some feel like a “light bulb” moment.
Some feel like a reminder of an idea you already knew, but had forgotten.
Some feel like a download, like when Neo proclaimed “I know kung fu” to Morpheus.
Some feel like a concept you had previously grasped intellectually, but now you feel on a visceral level.
There are also some ideas that seem like the most important thought you’ve ever thunk, but before you get a chance to write it down... it disappears forever like dust in the wind.
Sometimes you’ll have a stupendous idea when you’re deep in the 5th dimension but bringing the idea back with you to waking consciousness feels like an impossible task.
Then, true to form, when you’re back in a normal state, all you’re left with is a feeling that there was something that you wish you could remember.
The feeling can gnaw at you because one idea can change your life.
I suggest having a notepad nearby for when these aha! moments strike. Your motor functions are impaired at higher doses so use whatever concentration you can muster to scribble it down.
As Cobb quips in Inception, “She was possessed by an idea, this one, very simple idea, that changed everything.”
As with previous concepts, words often don’t do this justice. Or perhaps the experiential knowledge of it just can’t be captured by the intellectualized concept.
Nevertheless, here are seven:
Complete and utter dissolution of the fear of death. This paradoxically enhances the desire to live, do, and bring meaning to life.
There is something much much bigger than what this reality offers our current senses. My meeting with God made that clear. It also gave me an understanding into what prophets from antiquity may have seen, which likely inspired ideas of the after life and ultimately religions.
We are infinitely connected to all things in the universe. For example, I saw a version of myself in every person from the genius billionaires to the homeless vagrants. Moreover, I see how they have all impacted and created me.
The three elements of reality are time, space and attraction. Attraction has many forms: gravity, strong force, weak force, nuclear… but at the abstracted human level it manifests in a nuanced form: consciousness. One could argue that it abstracts even further as love.
Every sensation, experience, thought and memory is a unique neural signature that's triggered by a particular cascading-waterfall of neural connections. The memories, or what can feel like time travel while macrodosing, illustrate that these experiences are re-livable if that particular cascading-waterfall-neural-signature is triggered.
I am just an organism. The idea that I am Ray, or even a human, is just a story with a lot of words that we all agree on. The idea that “I am a human” is a cousin of the concept that I am a fan of, say, the Washington Wizards. Both are just stories with a lot of words. At the core, I am just an organism.
Our thoughts are not 'who we are.' Thoughts are something that our consciousness is aware of, and can act on, but they are separate from our "self." Much like our hands are tools for grabbing objects, our brains are tools for thought-making.
If you stubbed your toe you wouldn't act as if that defines you. Rather, you acknowledge it, and move on.
It's the same with thoughts.
When you have an unpleasant thought, acknowledge it, and move on.
Up next in Vol 5: what it’s like to enter the “Mozart Zone”